


Blue is the Warmest Color

by omgrottengirl



Category: Thai Actor RPF, เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, M/M, MewGulfMadeMeDoIt, Sad, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:40:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27790894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgrottengirl/pseuds/omgrottengirl
Summary: Gulf likes to take Polaroid photos of the object of his affection.
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Comments: 16
Kudos: 58





	Blue is the Warmest Color

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! It's another fanfic again and it took me a while to post a new one. Hehehe. I tend to get the muse and finish writing stories when I feel down. I don't know why though hahaha. I hope you all will enjoy this as much as I struggled writing this piece lols. Thanks and hugs to all of you!!!!!

+++++

It was his parents’ decision to enroll him on soccer lessons. Gulf was a fifteen year old lanky kid, tall enough to play but too old to be starting soccer at his age. And he was very awkward too. Playing soccer meant being in a crowd. And Gulf doesn’t like crowds. But later on, after the many drills he did and soccer balls he kicked, Gulf discovered that he had a natural talent for it. He started to love the sport. His long legs were advantageous and of good use. He especially liked the feeling of adrenaline rush as he’d run around the field like he had wings on his back. It was the closest thing to flying that he could experience.

That was also the time when he met Haii who just newly moved to their town. Haii was a quiet kid like Gulf but who’s not embarrassed and likes to mingle with other people after he’s got accustomed to them. They were both alike but very opposite in some ways. They were an odd pair, Gulf’s sister would say, but that didn’t stop the two of them from becoming good friends.

Before soccer, there was photography, his favorite hobby. At the age of twelve, it was his father who gave him his first disposable camera and told Gulf to take pictures of anything he found fascinating and that’s exactly what the young kid did. It was just for fun. Something that would help the lad come out of his shell. Gulf’s father only wanted his shy son to go explore and perhaps, make friends. After taking shots around town and consuming all the exposures that his camera contained, his father accompanied him to a shop to have his films developed and when they both saw the result of the shots he took, his father was amazed and Gulf fell in love. Gulf knew then that photography was something he’d like to do for a long time.

His parents had to decline Gulf’s request of having his own dark room because they didn’t want him getting involved with chemicals at a young age. They offered to buy him a digital camera instead but Gulf refused saying he finds it weird to retake pictures. He liked it better when he only has to take one shot and the image remains like that forever. Gulf preferred his photos raw and candid.

He’s an old soul, his mother remarked.

We better get him a Polaroid camera then, his father suggested.

And a Polaroid camera was what Gulf received as both his birthday and Christmas present that year. Just like other little kids who usually carried a teddy bear with them wherever they go, Gulf and his Polaroid camera were inseparable.

+++++

It was at the age of sixteen when Gulf was teased because he hasn’t tried to masturbate. He and Haii might be the best of friends but they also hang out with a group of kids from their soccer team. They were having a break from practice when one of their team mates mentioned something about a Playboy magazine he stole from his father’s closet which he eventually dreamt about. He had a wet dream about it and got a boner again when he woke up. He masturbated to ease himself and everyone laughed at how stupid he was for even stealing the magazine in the first place. Everyone in the group started to share their own firsts about masturbation. One had done it while showering, another used an empty bottle of lotion to spurt his load on and Gulf was shocked to find out that even Haii had done it too. So, when it was his turn to talk about his experience, Gulf had nothing to say. His circle of friends were in hysterics at the revelation and couldn’t stop making fun of him for being innocent all these years. It was only Haii who told their friends off and made them apologize. And they never talked about it ever again.

There was nothing wrong with his body. He was a perfectly normal boy. Gulf’s a healthy kid despite him being skinny and towering over other people. He was aware of the existence of pornography, of having to use condoms when having sex and sex toys that were sold on adult shops and the like. He did experience getting aroused and having a boner too. And it was a bizarre moment. The first time it happened to him, the chills that were sent down his spine when he laid eyes upon someone he found attractive was one of the many feelings he couldn’t forget in his entire life. He thought of dead puppies, of World War 1 and 2, in order to make his erection go away.

Gulf was actually scared. He was scared to explore his body and find out things that may actually frighten him. He doesn’t want to know if there was another side of him that he may not be able to fully embrace.

+++++

Gulf was comfortably seated on the back seat of the car fiddling with his camera. Haii was at the passenger seat messing with the radio trying to find a station that played good music. They were on their way home after soccer practice. Gulf took a peek at the person who was driving and found out that he had dyed his hair a different color. Again.

  
There was the sound of a click and a whir.

Haii turned to look at Gulf and asked if he took another stolen picture of them and Gulf, as usual, only replied with a small smile as he clutched onto a newly produced Polaroid photo in his hand.

You’re weird was what Haii said shaking his head with a grin on his face as he attempted to look for another radio station. The person on the driver’s seat spoke and said that it wasn’t nice to call your friends weird. In which Haii had to retaliate with raised brows that the reason why he’s calling Gulf weird is because they were friends in the first place. The driver could only sigh in defeat as he looked over at Gulf and mouthed that Haii wasn’t making any sense before returning his gaze on the road.

Gulf giggled at the man. He silently watched the two people in front of him and he found the relationship between Haii and with this person, who’s 15 years older and who looks after his friend really well, quite interesting. In the beginning, he couldn’t believe that they were related but seeing how close they were and after hanging out with Haii a lot of times, Gulf could now clearly see that these two are family. They were on first name basis despite the large age gap. Gulf was appalled by the thought of calling someone older than him by their first name but Haii insisted that it was okay because it can help facilitate with conversations about opening up and sharing of feelings not minding the fact that you’re talking to someone older.

When they arrived in front of his house, Gulf bid his friend goodbye and thanked the driver for always making sure that he gets home safe. Rolling down his side of the window, the person smiled softly and his newly dyed hair swayed along with the gush of wind that passed by. Gulf liked the color. It was blue. And it rhymed with the driver’s name. Mew.

+++++

The first time Gulf saw Mew, it was during a soccer match. He noticed that his parents and sister were seated on the front row seats of the stadium and he wondered who that gray haired man next to his father was as they animatedly talked pointing at Gulf and Haii’s direction once in a while. Mew and Gulf were then introduced to one another by Haii after the match, which they won by the way. Seeing the surprised look on his friend’s face, Haii joked that Mew’s hair were all gray because he was trying to conceal his real age and the older man had to playfully smack Haii behind the head for disrespecting him. Mew was an engineer. He looked and appeared to be really professional and composed. When he offered his hand for a shake and Gulf reached out to touch the older man’s outstretched hand, Gulf was slightly taken aback. Their eyes met and it lingered, much to Gulf’s discomfort. He wasn’t used to making eye contact and Gulf felt this uncanny sensation within him, there was some electricity of some sort, and he had to excuse himself right away saying that he had to go to the bathroom. With sweat rolling down the side of his face, Gulf hesitantly checked his front to confirm something. He closed his eyes as he banged his head against the cubicle’s wall. This can’t be happening to him. This was the time where he had to think of World War 1 and 2 and dead puppies as he ran his hands through his hair trying to get over the confusion he was feeling. What was he thinking finding a man like Mew to be attractive?

+++++

Haii was born on October while Gulf was on December. They were both turning seventeen this year and Gulf remembered that Haii told him that he usually preferred to have dinner with Mew on his birthday because it was a tradition they got used to doing but for this year, he wanted Gulf to join them. Gulf gladly accepted the invitation and even offered to give Haii five Polaroid photos as a birthday gift which the latter was very happy about.

It was a simple dinner. Mew cooked roasted chicken and mashed potatoes which were Haii’s favorite. There was also lasagna and some garlic bread that the Engineer made from scratch. Mew also bought a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting and even though he was knowledgeable in baking, cake wasn’t his forte. The carrot cake was the customary cake that they have for every birthday that Haii celebrated because it was what the celebrant liked best. This time though, Mew allowed Haii to have a glass of wine because he was nearing his legal drinking age. Mew made an excuse that it was to prepare Haii for the years to come. And he even tried to indulge Gulf in having one too, promising not to tell his parents about it.

Gulf liked every second he spent on that dinner. No, he loved it. He loved how simple, intimate and merry the celebration was even it was just the three of them. He did not bother asking the birthday boy why their other friends weren’t invited because Gulf felt like he was let on in some precious secret between Mew and Haii. And that made him feel extra special.

Gulf kept his promise about the five Polaroid shots he’d give Haii as a birthday present. The first one was a shot of Mew holding up the cake with lit candles and Haii clapping his hands. The second Polaroid was a picture of Gulf and Haii posing together with the cake, the candles already blown. The third was Haii opening his presents from Mew and Jom, Mew’s sister who’s a flight attendant and who makes sure to always give Haii expensive gifts during special occasions. Fourth one was Haii with his first drink. And the last Polaroid was of the three them squished together trying to fit themselves onto the frame.

Haii was the first one to retire to bed after downing three glasses of wine. Mew could only laugh watching the young kid lie on his bed and mumble somewhere along the lines that this was his best birthday ever. Even if it was only one glass of wine that Gulf drank, he felt his cheeks getting warm and his shyness slowly subsiding. He asked Mew if he could use their telephone to call his parents because he left his phone at their place. Gulf wanted to sleep over instead of having Mew drive him back home. The older man was grateful at the suggestion since he too was tired from preparing everything for dinner and wanted to relax and finish the bottle of wine before cleaning up their mess. Gulf expressed of wanting to keep him company rather than going to sleep and Mew was cool about it.

They lounged at the balcony watching the moon and the stars. Mew continued drinking the liquor and commented something about the moon being beautiful because it was full and bright that night. Gulf agreed, saying that indeed it was beautiful. The younger man watched with careful eyes as Mew pulled out a stick from his cigarette pack and the older man noticed that Gulf was observing him. Mew asked if it was okay to smoke around him and Gulf said that it was okay. Before lighting the cigarette that was between his lips, Gulf called out for him to stop and ran somewhere to get something. Mew obliged and waited for the younger man to come back and when Gulf appeared, he had his Polaroid camera with him. Mew smirked seeing this and proceeded to light his smoke, as if on cue, there was the familiar sound of a click and a whir.

Gulf admired the shot he took and Mew wanted to take a look but Gulf was quick to hide it from him. Instead of getting mad, Mew complimented Gulf that out of the pictures taken that night he was pretty sure that his shot, the Polaroid of Gulf and Haii with the cake, was the only hideous one. Mew even added that Gulf had great skills and he should keep doing what he loves. It might get him somewhere someday. Gulf wasn’t sure if the warmth on his cheeks was still because of the wine he drank earlier or was it because of what he just heard. Instead of replying a thank you, Gulf took another shot. This time, it was Mew puffing out a smoke. He held up the image he took with the moon light serving as its background. He said it to himself before that he could do photography for a long time and now, he realized something too. He could take pictures of Mew and never get enough.

+++++

It was Gulf’s turn to rejoice his birthday. It was a grand celebration and was pretty chaotic. Gulf was surrounded with relatives from both his parents’ side. It was like every time he had a birthday there was also a mini family reunion that’s going on. And he felt that it was too much sometimes. But he was contented though when he witnessed how Haii and Mew enjoyed socializing with his own flesh and blood. Gulf doesn’t know much about the family of the two because it was just the duo ever since. He often heard mentions of Mew’s sister that’s working as a cabin crew, and that was it. That’s all. And Gulf started getting curious and he wanted to know more about their family tree. He wasn’t the prying type so he’d just wait and see until Haii decides to open up some more to him in the near future.

+++++

Before their Christmas break, they happened to have a competition with a rival school. They were able to bring home the bacon once more but Gulf was unlucky to sprain his ankle during the last few remaining minutes into the game. Haii was very upset because besides from the fact that his best friend got hurt, he looked forward to playing with Gulf while they were on school break but it can’t be helped. Gulf was advised to take it easy and give his ankle two weeks maximum to heal. He was bound to spend his holiday nursing his injury. So, what happened was that Mew had to substitute for Gulf to play soccer with Haii while the injured athlete, sitting on the bleachers with his Polaroid camera in his grasp, watched them practice. Gulf took pictures as Mew fumbled with the ball and Haii screaming that he could do better than that. It was an amusing sight to see the two male bicker with one another. Mew reminding Haii that he was older and should be treated with utmost regard and Haii being sulky because he wasn’t enjoying his soccer practice as much as he wanted to. Gulf had to yell at them to stop fighting and they better focus on practicing or else he’d go there and play himself. This made both Mew and Haii look at him with concern knowing fully well that he wasn’t in no shape to be running around the field.

The sun was about to set and both male, who were exhausted from playing, laid on the ground trying to catch their breaths. That same sound of a click and a whir was heard and even with eyes closed, it was Mew who asked Gulf this time if he was taking pictures of them again. Gulf said in a low voice while struggling with his crutches, that Mew’s blue hair looked a little bit greenish with the sun’s yellow rays hitting it on a certain angle. Haii, arms and legs spread, acting like he was making a snow angel on the ground, blurted that Mew had green hair once. He dyed his hair a lot of times and got in trouble at work for doing so but his firm had a hard time kicking him out because he was so damn good at doing his job. Gulf chuckled faintly at this new discovery glancing at Mew who opened his eyes to say something. With pride in his voice and a mischievous wink directed at Gulf, Mew uttered that it was difficult to find someone like him because he was one in a million. And Gulf thought to himself, a small smile tugging on the corner of his lips, that he couldn’t agree more.

+++++

The weekend before they’d go back to school, Gulf’s ankle was getting better. They were on their way to the supermarket after dropping his sister at the airport. Grace was going to the United States as an exchange student. And even though he doesn’t want to admit it but Gulf, who glanced at the Polaroid picture he took of Grace waving and dragging her luggage as she made her way towards the airport’s entrance, will surely miss his annoying sibling. After they were done buying everything they needed, Gulf asked his parents if he could go and hang out with Haii. His parents knowing that it was Gulf’s way of coping with his sister’s departure drove him there with no hesitation.

After he rang the doorbell, Gulf was actually half wanting and expecting for Mew to open the door. Lo and behold, his prayers were heard. He asked if Haii was around and delightedly showed his healed ankle to the older man. Mew, ruffling the teenage boy’s hair, praised him for taking really good care of his injury but told Gulf that he came too late. Haii was spending the weekend with Jom and they just left. The three of them were supposed to go together but since the trip was so sudden and he didn’t have time to prepare for it, Mew decided to stay home because he has to finish a report for his work that was due next week. Disappointed, Gulf was wondering if it was a good decision to stay even though Haii wasn’t there. He doesn’t want to impose but the thought of being alone with Mew like the last time was something that Gulf wanted to happen again. Before he could open his mouth to speak, it was Mew who broke the silence. If he was cool with it, Gulf could stay and laze around while Mew worked on his report. Gulf was more than happy to oblige and he nervously entered the household with his Polaroid camera in hand.

Mew was typing away on his laptop and was so focused on his work; he didn’t have the time to give out snarky comments at the teenage boy across from him who took pictures and was having the time of his life. Gulf was silent when he took his seat earlier but when Mew gave him an orange juice to drink and told him to go crazy as long as he wouldn’t distract the Engineer from finishing what he was supposed to finish, Gulf did his thing.

Two hours later, Mew found Gulf asleep on the balcony clutching the photos he took to his chest and his camera neatly placed on the table next to him. Gulf’s slim figure basked in the warm afternoon sun. His tan skin glowed under the sunlight. It looked like Gulf, even though asleep, was enjoying the balmy weather. Mew cautiously shook the younger boy awake and Gulf woke up with a soft grunt. Mew said that he was tired from staring at his laptop screen and needed a break. He was planning to take a dip in the pool in order to eliminate the sleepiness he was feeling. Coffee wouldn’t be of any help because it only makes him sleepier. Would Gulf care to join him for a quick swim? Still half asleep, Gulf agreed but he didn’t forget to gather his snapshots and grab his Polaroid camera as Mew dragged him towards the direction of the pool.

The look of surprise on Gulf’s face was evident as Mew stripped right in front of him leaving only his boxer briefs on. Seconds after he was done with his strip show, the older man jumped into the pool and the droplets of water that splashed on Gulf’s face blinked him out of his stupor. Mew was urging for him to get in to the pool. Gulf, excited and nervous, tried to think of ways on how to be calm in this kind of situation. He tried making excuses at first saying that he could just watch Mew swim and he’d remain on the side with his feet submerged in the water. Instead of being insistent, Mew supposed that Gulf was going to take pictures of him while swimming. And Gulf nodded his head indicating yes, that was what he’s up to.

Call him lame and a hopeless romantic but Gulf was satisfied with how the day went for the both of them. For others, it may not be that much, but for a young teenage boy like Gulf who wasn’t even sure of many things, he was certain that whatever it was he feels towards Mew, he’d never had it with someone else before. Gulf was admiring the pictures he took. He thought to himself that if Mew was alluring in person, the older man was breathtaking on water. Tracing his fingers on the image he took of Mew who lied on his back and was just floating on the water looking all serene and carefree, Gulf was struck dumb when he felt wet hands grab his wrist. Thankful for his reflexes, he was quick enough to let go of the picture before he was pulled into the water. He could hear Mew’s merry laugh echo in the entire place as the younger man struggled to get back to the surface. His heart almost jumped out of his ribcage when he opened his eyes and came face to face with the Engineer. Gulf held his breath and watched a tiny bead of water run down from the middle of Mew’s forehead, which passed by his eyebrow, then to the contour of his nose and ended up on the corner of his lips. Gulf swallowed something invisible that was stuck in his throat. He immediately bowed his head looking all bashful and irritated. Mew noticed the expression on the younger man’s face and immediately apologized thinking that he did something wrong. But Gulf wasn’t mad at Mew, he was irate at himself.

Gulf went home that night with a handful of Polaroid pictures and wearing a different set of clothes. Mew offered to drive him home but Gulf declined saying he’d want to walk because he needed it. His mother asked when she saw the wet garments that Gulf brought with him what happened and the young boy replied that he went out for a sudden swim. When his father further inquired whose clothes he was wearing, Gulf put on a stoic expression as he answered that it was Mew’s.

+++++

When school started and it was time to face reality, Gulf was also back playing soccer like he’d never hurt his ankle. He asked Haii about his trip with Jom when they were having their water break and his best friend said that he had a blast. It felt that he had a shopping spree that weekend. Haii also added how he forgot to tell Gulf that day he was leaving and he was sorry because he recently found out that Gulf’s sister went to the United States as an exchange student on that same day too. He should have been there for his friend. Gulf responded that it was okay and Mew was kind enough to let him spend the day at their place. Haii was glad to know that Gulf was now feeling better and asked what he did since Haii wasn’t there. Although he wasn’t lying, Gulf decided to leave out some minute details, and told his friend that he only took pictures and slept. Haii looked convince saying that it may not look like it but Mew’s a pretty cool and chill guy. He’s like a good bro. And Gulf feeling some kind of guilt creep up on him, as he imagined Mew’s wet hair and the fine lines that defined the older man’s body, could only smile as he agreed that yes, he’s pretty cool.

+++++

Ever since he started taking Polaroid pictures, it was Gulf who only had access to them. Except for the Polaroid shots he gave Haii as a birthday present and the shots he took with the disposable camera, those were the only developed pictures his family and friend had seen. His parents respected his privacy telling themselves that Gulf was the kind of artist who liked keeping things to himself but they try to make him open up as much as possible. His sister, even though she could be a pain in the neck sometimes, also admired Gulf’s photography skills and never tried to pry. So when Haii, his best friend, tried to bring up the topic on why Gulf never allowed anyone to have a glimpse of his Polaroid shots, Gulf answered with a silly look on his face that it’s because the Polaroids were his dirty little secret. Haii looked at Gulf weirdly after hearing what his best friend said and asked about the shots that were taken of him. Did he look okay? Was he decent looking? And Gulf tittered as he said with pursed lips that he looked alright. Haii was dubious and voiced out how much he wanted to see them. At the back of his mind, Gulf was contemplating because those Polaroid shots, those were his secrets. And secrets will have to remain hidden. Forever. And as if Haii managed to read what’s going on in his head, the boy said that just because Gulf wanted to keep them a secret doesn’t mean that his talent for photography had to remain unseen. How will other people know that he’s a skilled photographer if he kept all of his output locked up somewhere? Looking up to the sky and taking in all of his friend’s words, Gulf declared that maybe someday when he’s ready.

And hopefully when that time comes, the world is prepared to recognize and accept, not just his talent, but Gulf as well.

+++++

Gulf met Jom during one of her layovers. They had dinner together just the four of them and Gulf was at awe. Perhaps, it was in the Jongcheveevat’s genes to be good looking. Even though Gulf found out that Jom was a year younger than Mew, he was amazed that neither of the two looked like their real age. It was Jom who said that maybe it was because they were surrounded with youngsters that’s why both she and Mew were young at heart. Jom also mentioned how Haii, who was seated beside his friend, kept talking about Gulf during their trip that’s why she got intrigued and wanted to meet him. Mew, who was seated next to Jom, added that Gulf was great at taking pictures and Jom actually lit up hearing that. She told Gulf that if he wanted to go and travel the world and visit places where he might find interesting things to photograph, he should consider becoming a flight attendant like her. That is if, he doesn’t want to do photography full time or pursue a career as a soccer player. His looks and his height were an advantage, he could easily get in. Gulf blushed and accepted the compliment with a shy smile and said that he’d think about it. The dinner and the exchange of words went smoothly. Jom brought out the cake she baked earlier that day and proudly presented it to the group. Each one them had a slice of the flight attendant’s creation and they thoroughly enjoyed it. It was during in the middle of consuming the dessert when Mew, who was right across from Gulf, called that younger man’s attention. Mew signaled something about a piece of strawberry cream that was stuck somewhere on Gulf’s upper lip and attempted to wipe it for him. Gulf was fast and managed to wipe it away causing Mew to chuckle amusedly. And even though Haii wasn’t bothered and did not think too much about the episode but Gulf noticed the look on Jom’s face and he suspected that she might have sensed that there was something going on even though he was pretty convinced that there was none. And Gulf wasn’t sure why he felt anxious all of sudden but he started to have this bad feeling. A feeling like something was bound to go wrong.

+++++

It was that time of the year in which the discussion about going to college and university gets brought up. Even though Gulf’s parents weren’t in a haste to make Gulf come up with a decision on what course he’s planning to take but the teenage boy felt pressured. He was being too hard on himself because he doesn’t want to disappoint his parents. In order to clear his mind and relieve himself of the stress, taking his Polaroid camera with him as always, he took his father’s scooter without asking for permission. Not knowing that it needed some repairs. So when he was half way close to the nearest place he could think of to help him relax, the scooter broke down and stopped running. He spent some time trying to figure out what was wrong but he wasn’t some expert mechanic. Gulf was about to give up and call for his parents’ help but realized he left their place without his mobile phone. Fortunately, there was a pickup truck, a very familiar one, which stopped in front of him. When he saw the person that got out of the driver’s seat, the well-known mop of blue hair getting ruffled by the wind, Gulf was both pleased and uneasy at the same time. The first thing that Mew asked him was, if he was okay? Followed by a, what happened and was he hurt? Gulf expected to be scolded and he thought that it may come later but it never did. They loaded the non-functional motorbike onto the back of the truck in silence and when Gulf was seated on the passenger seat that was when Mew calmly told the younger man to explain. So, Gulf explained everything and left nothing out. When he was done speaking, the Engineer just shook his head, but not in a disapproving way, Mew looked rather entertained. Understanding the teenage boy’s struggles, Mew told Gulf that he was on his way to see a construction site he was working on just to check the progress of the project and after that, they could go to where Gulf intended to go. He was already embarrassed of the situation he was caught in and it wasn’t like he had other options, Mew was his hope of getting home, so Gulf had no choice but to nod his head in agreement.

The drive felt very different for Gulf. Maybe, it was because Haii wasn’t around. Usually, Gulf was used to being at the back seat minding his business and taking photos. This time, he felt like he was somewhat trespassing. This was Haii’s place and he did not belong here. He should be back there instead. His mind was wandering that he didn’t hear Mew was actually trying to get his attention. When Gulf came back to his senses, Mew snickered at him. Though Mew wouldn’t want to say it himself but Haii was right. Gulf was weird. Not in a bad way. It was more on the adorable side.

When they reached the site, Mew invited him to check the place out. Gulf was introduced to everyone as Haii’s best friend. He saw how Mew interacted with the workers and he found it fascinating that everyone there seem to have so much respect for the engineer. It was a short visit and they headed to their next destination immediately.

They reached the beach in no time and the smile plastered on Gulf’s face was as bright as the sun even though in a few more minutes it was about to set. He ran towards the direction of the sea after taking off his shoes, forgetting that he had company. His worries instantly went away as he saw the waves kissing the shore and felt the gentle breeze of the wind touch his face. When Gulf remembered that he wasn’t alone, he turned around in search of Mew and saw the older man leisurely making his way towards him. The moment that Mew was by his side, Gulf watched on how the older man admired the view in front of them.

It was quiet between them for a while. They both listened as the gust of the wind, the swinging coconut trees, the chirping birds and the crashing of waves were in a continuous harmony around them. It was Mew who broke the silence as he uttered Gulf’s name. The younger man responded by craning his neck to look up at Mew. The older man still looking at the beautiful scene unfolding right in front of them stated that it was a normal thing to feel lost.

It was okay to be undecided. There was no need for Gulf to beat himself up over something that he will eventually figure out. Take baby steps. No rushing because all things take time. He just have to take his time.

Gulf felt a hand on his head then slowly it moved to his shoulder, he felt that hand give his shoulder a gentle squeeze. Mew turned to him with eyes that were filled with care and assurance. Smiling, he ended his speech with, we all grow as we go.

And all Gulf could remember during that moment was how his heart felt full because he was overwhelmed with joy and love. He engraved it on both his heart and mind how heavenly and ethereal Mew looked having said those words, words that Gulf needed to hear. And how the setting sun softly highlighted the features of Mew’s handsome face. And Mew’s blue hair, oh god, his blue hair. How it looked and felt so warm against the sundown that if only Gulf had the courage to stretch out and ran his hand over those blue strands, he’d certainly confess to Mew how he feels. But he doesn’t want to ruin the moment. Gulf doesn’t want to ruin anything. He doesn’t want to shatter beautiful things by committing a mistake. His feelings were a mistake in the first place.

When Mew drove Gulf home, his parents looked so utterly relieved that their son was safe. They kept calling Gulf on his phone when they found out that he had ran off somewhere with the scooter only to discover that he left his cellphone in his room. Mew explained the series of events that happened thoughtfully after he managed to unload the scooter from the back of his truck with the help of Gulf’s father. Gulf’s parents were so glad that the Engineer was the one who found him and brought him home. Mew also advised that it was best not to scold the teenage boy because he might have learned his lesson for that day. After the endless thank you from Gulf’s parents and Mew responding that it was nothing, the engineer told them that he should be going and bid them all farewell. Watching the pickup truck slowly disappear from his line of vision, Gulf reached inside the pocket of his jeans and felt the Polaroid photos he took with Mew on the beach. And he did not regret taking off with that broken down scooter without his father’s consent.

+++++

Gulf masturbated for the first time in his life at the age of seventeen. It happened when he woke up in the middle of the night after dreaming of hazy colors of gray, green and blue. Images of a lit cigarette, of puffed out smoke, red and velvety tongue sticking out to lick strawberry cream, hard muscles dancing with the water from the swimming pool, long and beautiful fingers against tanned skin, Mew’s lips against his lips. He was confused but at the same time hot and bothered by everything. The only thing he could think of, as he looked down south to find a tent of bulge forming on his pajamas, was to relieve himself and he wanted to do it in a way he liked because he knew that no one was watching.

Gulf hurriedly opened the box which contained all of his dirty little secrets and ran towards his closet where he kept the clothes that Mew lent him. He took out the shirt that was still unwashed and he could smell traces of Mew’s scent from it. His already hardened member twitched as he took another whiff. He dropped the shirt and scattered the Polaroid photos on the floor. He went down on both his knees and knelt in front of the many images he took of Mew. His heart was beating fast as he admired the shots and he felt anxious like what he was about to do was something similar to committing a crime.

Slowly, he took out his erection with his right hand and started stroking it languidly. Using his free hand that trembled as he reached for the images on the floor, he picked up a Polaroid of Mew, the one where he newly dyed his hair blue. And Gulf stared at it lewdly all the while stroking his shaft. He picked up another photo again, where Mew with his greenish looking hair was lying on the ground after playing soccer and he felt his manhood pulsate in his grip. He picked another, an image of Mew who was focused typing on his laptop. And another, Mew all wet and with water wrapping around his toned abs. Gulf closed his eyes as he felt a knot on his stomach. He was coming closer to his release than he’d expected. He opened his eyes again and kept glancing at all the shots he took. And it dawned on him that majority of his Polaroid collection were all of the older man. With half lidded eyes, he remembered their time on the beach. On the beach where Mew told him that it was okay to feel lost, that there was no need to rush, he can take his time. Gulf’s left hand started to roam and explore and he tweaked and played with his nipples it almost felt like he was going crazy with need and his strokes started getting firmer and faster. He opened his eyes once more to have one last look at the display of images of Mew Mew Mew Mew Mew. Gulf thought that he saw stars as his toes curled in anticipation and he came and climaxed gasping for air chanting Mew’s name like it was a spell.

When he came down from his high, Gulf looked at his already limped penis and started feeling humiliated. The next thing he knew, he was crying. He felt alive and at the same time, disgusted. Tears kept streaming down his eyes and he was disoriented as he used the unwashed shirt to wipe his cum that stained the Polaroid pictures. He was horrified when he realized what he’s done. All this time he kept it to preserve Mew’s scent but he was stupid that he eventually used it as a rug. Gulf got so upset that he threw the dirty shirt in his laundry basket and stored all the Polaroid pictures back to the container where they must remain locked up and concealed.

+++++

Haii dropped by unexpectedly at his place and Gulf wasn’t sure if it was something he needed to deal with after his little escapade the other night. Unprepared for his best friend’s visit, Gulf asked what they’re supposed to do and Haii suggested that they could watch a movie or play video games together. The other boy half-heartedly agreed and invited Haii to come up to his room. He told Haii to wait and make himself feel at home as he’d go to the kitchen and ask his mother to make something for them to eat. Haii just smiled and replied with an okay, plopping himself onto Gulf’s tiny single bed.

Gulf searched for his mother and found her watering the plants on their mini garden. He approached and informed her that Haii decided to hang out and if it was possible she could help bring out snacks for the two of them. His mother was more than happy to do so since it’s been a while Gulf had his friend over. Gulf lent his mother a hand as she made sandwiches for the teenage boys. She mentioned that Haii could have dinner at their place and they can invite Mew to come join them too. Gulf was delighted to hear his mother’s words and as he carried the tray of sandwiches, chips and beverage back to his room, something came to his mind. And he hurriedly ran to his room not caring if he was going to spill the load he was carrying.

The day that Gulf feared came and he was left speechless as he saw his best friend standing over a box and holding up a Polaroid photo in his hand. Gulf forgot to store it back to its rightful place after the other night. The look on Haii’s face was clear as day and Gulf felt perturbed. When their eyes met and the obvious expression of repulse on his friend was something that can’t be denied, Gulf tried to take a step closer and wanted to open his mouth to say something. He wanted to explain. He wanted Haii to understand. If his best friend could only hear him out. Haii calmly placed back the item he took to where it belonged and closed it like how he found it. He walked towards Gulf’s direction and when they were facing each other, Haii stared at his friend distastefully.

Faggot.

Just one word. It was only one word that his friend whispered before walking out of his room and bumping his shoulder in the process but it felt like Gulf was stabbed with a knife on both his front and back side. He fought the urge to run after Haii as he looked over the box that contained all of his dirty little secrets. It was a miracle that he still managed to carefully place the tray he was holding onto a safe surface as he went over to his Pandora’s Box, the box that contained not only his secrets but also his desires. He tried to keep it away from prying eyes for so long. One by one, he carefully took out the Polaroid pictures. Gulf’s heart ached as he studied an image of a blue haired Mew prudently and craned his head to the direction where his best friend disappeared. Gulf’s lips quivered as he turned his attention back to the snapshot and thought that he can’t blame Haii if he’d ever detest Gulf after what he uncovered.

Who would want to be friends with someone who harbored feelings for your own father?

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't figured out this was inspired by Halsey's song and music video of Colors. Go and check it out if you have not watched it. And as for the title, we've seen tweets about it when Mew had blue highlights but I also had the French movie in mind when I was making this. Thanks again for reading!!!!!


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